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[!] love is just glove minus the g
Tuesday, August 22, 2006

you know you should move on, but you just can't. you do not undersand what happened... you were okay in the beginning... but beginnings were never meant to last.

when i met you, at first, i really didn't take notice of you. yeah we texted and talked, but i really didn't take you in too much. i had my life and you had yours, which where two VERY seperate things altogether.

but then we started texting and talking more often. i started seeing how you really are. i started to appreciate every message you send, every call you make, and even the calls i miss (which were a lot and i am very sorry for that). i soon wanted to hear your laughter. i wanted to hear your stories. i wanted to hear you.

we were okay in the beginning... but you made me realize that beginnings were never meant to last...

i do not understand why you suddenly wanted to leave. i just don't. i am here and i want to help you. i tried acting that i was fine, that everything was alright. but i just couldn't. won't you give me a chance to prove to you that i want you to be happy? i don't mind getting hurt, i just want to fix you...

but what is the use?

you've already said your goodbye.

now i'll say mine.

goodbye then.

-ehji

kada : ehjiboi


Monday, August 21, 2006

Ikaw ang gumagawa nang sarili mong tadhana..

Harapin nang buong tapang ang ihahandog sa iyo ng hinaharap.

kada : poor java boy


Sunday, August 13, 2006

As I write these words, tears are running down my cheeks..
but these tears are the last tears that I would be shedding for HIM.

I know it has been years and I should have done this a long time ago but I am
FINALLY LETTING GO..

I have uttered these words before but they were merely said but I never really learned to do so.

It all started when yesterday afternoon, I found out that a friend of mine happens to be HIS friend way back in High School. We did not talk much about HIM but just this afternoon, he sort of told me something, which really hit me. It was as if I have spent the past few years being the dumbest person alive. He need not say much but I got what he meant. I must say he was not the first person to tell me that for my friends have been saying the same words but it was a lot different when it came from him. He is HIS friend for crying out loud!!!

Enough is enough.. I know it would be hard but at least this time it is me telling myself that it is over. Yes, I admit that I have always believed that WE would end up together but not anymore. I am FREE!!! Free from the pain, free from being stupid, free from HIM!!!

I would not let myself be HIS prisoner anymore.
I have closed the door that led to HIM and I swear I would never ever open it again..
My bitterness is over. I know I would never forget HIM, but I know I would learn to live WITHOUT HIM. HE is not my world anymore and HE will never be again. I do not know if WE could be friends in the near future but that does not really matter anymore. What matters is that I have accepted the truth.. HE is not worth waiting for, HE is not worth it!!! period!!!!! I’ve had enough..

So as I wipe my tears, I say that

Finally…
Angge is free!!!

kada : Anggegay


Monday, August 07, 2006

it was supposed to be a night of fun.

i went to party with my friends last saturday. we were dancing and drinking and laughing and talking the night away, just as any party-goer does in a saturday night.

i went there with some new friends, but spent the night with some old friend i texted up. he was there so i went with his group.

so there i was, met all of his friend and became friends with them too. party.

around 2:50am, they already decided to go. to me, it was a tad too early to leave, but because i said i'll go home with them, i did.

i was seated at the back of the adventure, with BJ and MYKS. and eventually it became just myks and i, bj had to transfer to the passenger's seat. the trip was a bit weird, but i am not going mention why or how weird it was.

so there we were, me in my weird state. the car was running fast, and i was a bit anxious. more weird moments, perhaps the weirdest of all. suddenly the car swerved so violently and i thought rocky was mad and he was running furiously. the next moment i hit the right side of the car with a bang, then the right side of the car fell.

imagine a roller coaster ride. fast, and quite dangerous. imagine it turning around its loop. now imagine it happening to you in your own car.

i saw the car turn, i didn't know how many turns we had. people say we turned thrice. i had my eyes open. i banged into the sides as our car turned. it was a scary thing, having seen how everything happened. i was half expecting for the car to give in and hit us all with it's bending metal. i saw shattered glass. i wrapped my arms around the person next to me, for him to be safe. i thought we were all going to die.

my eyes were wide open.. but i didn't want to see...

i was praying for dear life. we were in between the space of the roof of the car and the right side of the car. we skidded for a considerable amount of distance, still expecting for the worst. i think i saw sparks from the friction of the metal and the road. i don't know, everything happened so fast. will i die?

the next thing i knew was that we were making our way out of the car (which stopped at its right side). i didn't know how we got out. i didn't know how we survived. i was hearing cries from one of the girls.

all of a sudden people were around us. i wasn't paying much attention to them. i was more concerned to how my friends were. the girls were crying. rocky seemed not hurt, but he was awfully silent. myks was alright, miller too. bj took in charge of everything. he was talking to the people, telling them what happened.

i was okay, or at first i thought i was. but when i stood a good distance from the car, i realized that my knee and my right arm were hurt. miller saw that i was hurt and sat me down. i was in shock. i was in real shock. i wanted to cry but i was scared of what might happen if i let myself cry. i might get into one of my rare seizures (i've been through a heart surgery). my head was hurt and miller massaged it. i don't know if it did help, but i wasn't that afraid anymore.

i sat there. the girls, myks and miller were sent to rocky's relatives for help. they left. i sat there. looking at how bj handled the situation. i didn't know if i could do that. he was brave. i was too, i just didn't know.. i just sat there and looked. we could've died... all of us..

then bj came with my phone, and instantly i texted my grandma to fetch me up. i wanted to see the doctor. i didn't want to leave bj and rocky alone (we were the only ones left) but my left knee and my right arm were aching. my dad arrives with my lola and tita. i bade farwell to bj and rocky and told them i'd be back. i was brought to the hospital.

i didn't get any serious injury, nabugbog lang daw yung mga muscles ko. i never wanted to be in the hospital again. no more wheelchairs for me. i have had enough of those.

i went back to where the car was and found only bj and denise. i find it only rational to be with them. we went to the investigators together. i on the passenger's seat, they on the back seat.

we gave our statements and went home.

i realized a lot of things. each i cannot say. one thing is that i have to say i love you to the people i cherish. i may never get the chance to tell them. i also realized that everyone in the accident were important to me, yes YOU are.

to my friends:
i love you all.

to Him:
thanks for giving me yet another chance. how many times was i suppose to die? since i was born i had perils. mortal perils. i do not know yet what i am to do, but i hope to do it in your name's sake.

siguro nga ikaw lang ang gumagawa ng dahilan kung bakit ka mamamatay, pero ikaw din ang gumagawa nang desisyon kung mabubuhay ka. nagdesisyon na ako, gusto kong mabuhay.

kada : ehjiboi

[!] Nagising ako kaninang alas diyes
Sunday, August 06, 2006

Nagising ako kaninang alas diyes.
Chi-neck ang cellphone ko...
at nagimbal sa isang mensahe:

"Naaksidente aq passing ortigas. Bumaliktad ung cnasakyan namin na car.
Thank God buhay pa q. I love you all guys."

-Edge
4:11:46 AM

Tumalon ang puso ko. Kung sinu-sino ang tinawagan. Buti na lang sabi ni Lola walang masamang nangyari. Konting galos lang at namamagang katawan.
Tatlong beses bumaliktad ang kotse. Dahil sa isang aso lang.
Muntikang mawala ang ilang buhay, ang isa sa kanila, pinakamamahal nating lahat.
Nang makausap siya, ang una niya daw ginawa ay iparating sa lahat na mahal niya tayo.

Hindi natin alam kung kailan ang katapusan, bago pa ang lahat, gusto ko lang sabihin na mahal na mahal ko kayo, at alam kong ganun din ang maisasambit niyo. Maaaring sa atin, sa ibang katauhan o porma ang "Aso" sa kwento ni Edge. Kaya huwag sayangin ang oras, dahil hindi laging ikaw ang gumagawa ng dahilan ng ikamamatay mo.

kada : disclaimer

[!] pasabog... :) at my own death...

dahil sabi ng baybayin cards na malalaman nyo ang sikreto ko...





kaya...



hindi ko muna sasabihin...









ksi baka ikamatay ko ito... :)





hehehe...



pasabog toh...






yun lang...








after ng prod overnight tau...





at sana dun masabi ko...



umiiral na naman ang pagkalalaki ko...
"kapag gusto ko gusto ko"



"ikaw lang ang gumagawa ng dahilan kung bakit ka mamamatay..."- Gabso

kada : Marlon J. Locsin

[!] guys.. philophilicism is back online....
Thursday, August 03, 2006

philophilicism signing in...

im back..

ngpaparamdam lng ako.. tsaka n ko mglalagay ng post...

üüü

kada : Anggegay